"This World Will Remember Me" from "Bonnie and Clyde"

CLYDE
The men in this town
Live and die and are forgotten
And it doesn't seem to scare 'em
I can't wait to get away

Away from the drought
And the homeless and the hungry
Where they talk about foreclosures
Every hot and dusty day

I don't intend to waste
My life 'round here
I got it all mapped out
If I can pull just three jobs a year
I'll be rich, I'll have wealth and fame
Everyone will know my name

BONNIE

Pull three jobs? What does that mean?

What do you think it means?

Just like Billy the Kid

And Mister Capone

Every kid will idolize Clyde Barrow

One thing, young lady, I guarantee

Is that this world will remember me

Yes, this world will remember me

Don't you think it's time

That you lost that egg-stained apron

And wore somethin' made of satin

From a fine Manhattan store?

Yes, I can see you

In a car with your own driver

You are headed to your penthouse

That will overlook the shore

Your face should be up on that silver screen

You got that It Girl look

I can't believe that you see that in me

I always knew I'd be a star

How intelligent you are

We are wasted 'round here

We're too good for this place

We weren't born to live and die in Texas

This is my plan, there's no plan B

And this world will remember me

You and this world will remember me

"Home" from "Beauty and the Beast"

Yes, I made the choice
For Papa, I will stay
But I don't deserve to lose my freedom in this way
You monster
If you think that what you've done is right, well then
You're a fool
Think again

Is this home?
Is this where I should learn to be happy?
Never dreamed
That a home could be dark and cold
I was told
Every day in my childhood
Even when we grow old
Home will be where the heart is
Never were words so true
My heart's far, far away
Home is, too

Is this home?
Is this what I must learn to believe in?
Try to find
Something good in this tragic place
Just in case
I should stay here forever
Held in this empty space
Oh, but that won't be easy
I know the reason why
My heart's far, far away
Home's a lie

What I'd give to return
To the life that I knew lately
But I know that I can't
Solve my problems going back

Is this home?
Am I here for a day or forever?
Shut away
From the world until who knows when
Oh, but then
As my life has been altered once
It can change again
Build higher walls around me
Change every lock and key
Nothing lasts
Nothing holds
All of me
My heart's far, far away
Home and free

"Light My Candle" from "Rent"

ROGER
What'd you forget?

MIMI

Got a light?

I know you, you're--

You're shivering

It's nothing

They turned off my heat

And I'm just a little weak

On my feet

Would you light

My candle?

What are you staring at?

Nothing

Your hair

In the moonlight

You look familiar

Can you make it?

Just haven't

Eaten much today

At least the room

Stopped spinning, anyway

What?

Nothing

Your smile reminded me of--

I always remind people of--

Who is she?

She died

Her name was April

It's out again

Sorry 'bout your friend

Would you light

My candle?

Well

Yeah

Ow!

Oh, the wax. It's--

Dripping

I like it between my--

Fingers

I figured

Oh, well, good night

It blew out again?

No, I think

That I dropped my stash

I know I've seen you

Out and about

When I used to go out

You're candle's out

I'm illin'

I had it

When I walked in the door

It was pure

Is it on the floor?

The floor?

They say that I have the best ass

Below 14th street

Is it true?

What?

You're staring again

Oh, no

I mean, you do

Have a nice--

I mean--

You look familiar

Like your dead girlfriend?

Only when you smile

But I'm sure I've seen

You somewhere else

Do you go

To the Cat Scratch Club?

That's where I work

I dance

Yes

They used to tie you up

It's a living

I didn't recognize you

Without the handcuffs

We could light

The candle

Oh, won't you light

The candle?

Why don't you forget

That stuff?

You look like you're 16

I'm 19

But I'm old for my age

I'm just born to be bad

I once was born to be bad

I used to shiver like that

I have no heat

I told you

I used to sweat

I got a cold

Uh-huh

I used to be a junkie

But now and then

I like to feel good

Oh, here it--

What's that?

Candy-bar wrapper

We could light

The candle

Oh, what'd you do

With my candle?

That was my last match

Our eyes'll adjust

Thank God for the moon

Maybe it's not the moon

At all

I hear Spike Lee's shootin'

Down the street

Bah humbug

Bah humbug

Cold hands

Yours too

Big

Like my father's

Do you wanna dance?

With you?

No, with my father

I'm Roger

They call me

They call me

Mimi

"What You Own" from "Rent"

MARK
Don't breathe too deep
Don't think all day
Dive into work
Drive the other way
That drip of hurt
That pint of shame
Goes away
Just play the game

You're living in America
At the end of the millennium
You're living in America
Leave your conscience at the tone
And when you're living in America
At the end of the millennium
You're what you own

ROGER

The filmmaker cannot see

And the songwriter cannot hear

Yet I see Mimi Everywhere

Angel's voice is in my ear

Just tighten those shoulders

Just clench your jaw till you frown

Just don't let go

BOTH

Or you may drown

You're living in America

At the end of the millennium

You're living in America

Where it's like the Twilight Zone

And when you're living in America

At the end of the millennium

You're what you own

So I own not a notion

I escape and ape content

I don't own emotion, I rent

What was it about that night

What was it about that night

Connection in an isolating age

For once, the shadows gave way to light

For once, the shadows gave way to light

For once, I didn't disengage

Angel, I hear you

Mimi, I see you

I hear it

I see it

I see it

I hear it

I see it

I hear it

My film

My song

Alexi? Mark

One song glory

Call me a hypocrite

Mimi

I need to finish my own film

Your eyes

I quit

Dying in America

At the end of the millennium

We're dying in America

To come into our own

And when you're dying in America

At the end of the millennium

You're not alone

I'm not alone

I'm not alone

"The Music of the Night" from "The Phantom of the Opera"

Nighttime sharpens
Heightens each sensation
Darkness wakes
And stirs imagination
Silently the senses
Abandon their defenses
Helpless to resist the notes I write
For I compose the music of the night

Slowly, gently
Night unfurls its splendor
Grasp it, sense it
Tremulous and tender
Hearing is believing
Music is deceiving
Hard as lightning, soft as candlelight
Dare you trust the music of the night

Close your eyes for your eyes will only tell the truth
And the truth isn't what you want to see
In the dark it is easy to pretend
That the truth is what it ought to be

Softly, deftly
Music shall caress you
Hear it, feel it
Secretly possess you
Open up your mind
Let your fantasies unwind
In this darkness which you know you cannot fight
The darkness of the music of the night

Close your eyes, start a journey through a strange new world
Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before
Close your eyes and let music set you free!
Only then can you belong to me

Floating, falling
Sweet intoxication
Touch me, trust me
Savor each sensation
Let the dream begin
Let your darker side give in
To the power of the music that I write
The power of the music of the night

You alone can make my song take flight
Help me make the music of the night

"La Vie Boheme" from "Rent"

ANGEL
Who died?

BENNY
Our Akita.

ANGEL, ROGER
Evita.

BENNY
You make fun, yet I am the one
Attempting to do some good.
Or do you really want a neighborhood
Where people piss on your stoop every night?
Bohemia, Bohemia's
A fallacy in your head.
This is Calcutta;
Bohemia is dead.

MARK
Dearly beloved, we gather here to say our goodbyes.

COLLINS, ROGER
Dies irae - dies illa, Kyrie eleison.
Yitgadal v'yitadash.

MARK
Here she lies, no one knew her worth.
The late, great daughter of Mother Earth.
On these nights when we
Celebrate the birth
In that little town on Bethlehem.
We raise our glass, you bet your ass to
La vie Boheme.

ALL
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme

MARK
To days of inspiration,
Playing hookey, making
Something out of nothing.
The need to express,
To communicate,
To going against the grain,
Going insane, going mad.
To loving tension, no pension.
To more than one dimension,
To starving for attention,
Hating convention, hating pretension.
Not to mention, of course,
Hating dear old Mom and Dad.
To riding your bike
Midday past the three-piece suits.
To fruits, to no absolutes,
To Absolut, to choice,
To the village voice,
To any passing fad,
To being an us for once, instead of a them!

ALL
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme

MR. GREY
Ahem.

MAUREEN
Hey mister, she's my sister.

WAITER
So that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad,
Three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter,
And one pasta with meatless balls.

ROGER
Ew.

COLLINS
It tastes the same.

MIMI
If you close your eyes.

WAITER
And thirteen orders of fries.
Is that all here?

ALL
Wine and beer!

MIMI, ANGEL
To hand-crafted beers
Made in local breweries.
To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese.
To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo,
To Huevos Rancheros and Maya Angelou.

MAUREEN, COLLINS
Emotion, devotion, to causing a commontion.
Creation, vacation.

MARK
Mucho masturbation.

MAUREEN, COLLINS
Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new.

COLLINS
To Sontag.

ANGEL
To Sondheim.

FOUR GIRLS
To anything taboo.

COLLINS, ROGER
Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham, and Cage.

COLLINS
Lenny Bruce.

ROGER
Langston Hughes.

MAUREEN
To the stage.

BOHEMIANS
To Uta, to Buddha, Pablo Neruda, too.

MARK, MIMI
Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow
To blow off Auntie Em.

ALL
La vie Boheme

MR. GREY
Sisters?

MAUREEN, JOANNE
We're close.

ANGEL, COLLINS
Brothers!

MARK, ANGEL, MIMI
Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens,
Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men,
Pee Wee Herman.
German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein,
Antoniotti, Bertolucci, Kurosawa,
Camina Burana.

ALL
To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy.
Vaclav Havel, The Sex Pistols, 8BC.
To no shame, never playing the fame game.

COLLINS
To marijuana.

ALL
To sodomy, it's between God and me.
To S & M.

BENNY
Waiter, waiter, waiter, waiter!

ALL
La vie Boheme

COLLINS
In honor of the death of Bohemia, an impromptu salon will commence immediately following dinner.
Maureen Johnson, just back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the eleventh street lot, will perform Native American tribal chants backwards through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello, which she has never studied.

ROGER
And Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an erection on the high holy days.

MARK
And Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawn chair handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred.

BENNY
Your new boyfriend doesn't know about us.

MIMI
There's nothing to know.

BENNY
Don't you think that we should discuss-

MIMI
It was three months ago.

BENNY
He doesn't act like he's with you.

MIMI
We're taking it slow.

BENNY
Where is he now?

MIMI
He's right--Hmm, Where'd he go?

MARK
And Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song . . . that doesn't remind us of "Musetta's Waltz."

COLLINS
Angel Dumott Schunard will model the latest fall fashions from Paris while accompanying herself on the ten-gallon plastic pickle tub.

ANGEL
And Collins will recount his exploits as anarchist, including the tale of the successful reprogramming of the M.I.T. virtual reality equipment to self-destruct, as it broadcasts the words:

ALL
Actual reality. Act up. Fight AIDS.

MIMI
Excuse me, did I do something wrong?
I get invited, then ignored all night long.

ROGER
I've been trying. I'm not lying.
No one's perfect. I've got baggage.

MIMI
Life's too short, babe, time is flying.
I'm looking for baggage that does with mine.

ROGER
I should tell you.

MIMI
I got baggage, too.

ROGER
I should tell you.

ROGER, MIMI
Baggage.

ALL
Wine and beer!

MIMI
AZT break.

ROGER
You?

MIMI
Me. You?

ROGER
Mimi.

"On the Steps of the Palace" from "Into the Woods"

He's a very smart prince
He's a prince who prepares
Knowing this time I'd run from him
He spread pitch on the stairs
I was caught unawares
Well it means that he cares
This is more than just malice
Better stop and take stock
While you're standing here stuck
On the steps of the palace

You think what do you want?
You think make a decision
Why not stay and be caught?
You think well it's a thought
What would be his response?
And then what if he knew who you were
And you know that you're not what
He thinks that he wants?

And then what if you are
What a prince would envision?
Although how can you know
Who you are till you know
What you want, which you don't
So then which do you pick?
Where you're safe, out of sight
And yourself but where everything's wrong
Or where everything's right but you know
That you'll never belong

And whichever you pick do it quick
'Cause you're starting to stick
To the steps of the palace
It's your first big decision
The choice isn't easy to make
To arrive at a ball is exciting and all
Once you're there, though, it's scary
And it's fun to deceive
When you know you can leave
But you have to be wary.

There's a lot that's at stake
But you've stalled long enough
'Cause you're still standing stuck
In the stuff on the steps
Better run along home
And avoid the collision
Even though they don't care
You'd be better off there
Where there's nothing to choose
So there's nothing to lose.

So you pry up your shoes
Then from out of the blue
And without any guide
I know what my decision is
Which is not to decide
I'll just leave him a clue
For example, a shoe
And then see what he'll do
Now it's he and not you
Who is stuck with a shoe
In a stew in the goo
And you've learned something too
Something you never knew
On the steps of the palace

"Soon As I Get Home" from "The Wiz"

There's a feeling here inside
That I cannot hide
And I know I've tried
But it's turning me around

I'm not sure that I'm aware
If I'm up or down
If I'm here or there
I need both feet on the ground

Why do I feel like I'm drowning
When there's plenty of air?
Why do I feel like frowning?
I think the feeling is fear

Here I am in a different place
In a different time
In this time and space
But I don't want to be here

I was told I must see the Wiz
But I don't know
What a wizard is
I just hope the Wiz is there

Maybe I'm just going crazy
Letting myself get uptight
I'm acting just like a baby
But I'm gonna be alright
Soon as I get home
As soon as I get home

In a different place
In a different time
Different people around me
I would like to know
Of their different world
And how different they find me

And just what's a Wiz
Is it big, will it scare me?
If I ask to leave
Will the Wiz even hear me?
How will I know then
If I can ever get home again?

Here I am alone
Though it feels the same
I don't know where I'm going
I'm here on my own
And it's not a game
And a strange wind is blowing

I am so amazed
At the things that I see here
Don't want to be afraid
I just don't want to be here
In my mind this is clear
What am i doing here?

I wish I was home

"That's What You Call a Dream" from "Bonnie and Clyde"

Just an ordinary life,
Easy days and quiet nights,
Lazy walks beside a stream:
Now that's what you call a dream.

No ideas and no big plans,
Happy with the way things are,
No one with a scam or scheme:
Now that's what you call a dream.

These dreams of yours make no sense at all.
It's what's inside, not what's out there.
We both could have a perfect life
And not go anywhere.

You miss a lot when you ask too much.
You're all I need not one thing more, Buck.
All I ever wanted
Is on this side of the door.

Children playing in the barn.
Buck is rocking in his chair.
In the house the candles gleam.
Now that's what you call a dream.

In the house the candles gleam.
Now that's what you call a dream.

"Defying Gravity" from "Wicked"

GLINDA
Why couldn't you have stayed clam for once? Instead of flying off the handle--
I hope you're happy
I hope you're happy now
I hope you're happy how you've
Hurt your cause forever
I hope you think you're clever

ELPHABA
I hope you're happy
I hope you're happy, too
I hope you're proud how you would
Grovel in submission
To feed your own ambition

GLINDA & ELPHABA
So though I can't imagine how
I hope you're happy
RIght now

GLINDA
Elphie, listen to me. Just say you're sorry!
You can still be with the Wizard
What you've worked and waited for
You can have all you've ever wanted--

ELPHABA
I know.
But I don't want it--no.
I can't want it anymore.

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by
The rules of someone else's game

Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes and leap...

It's time to try defying gravity
I think I'll try defying gravity
And you can't pull me down

GLINDA
Can't I make you understand
You're having delusions of grandeur?

ELPHABA
I'm through accepting limits
'Cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try I'll never know

Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well if that's love,
It comes at much too high a cost

I'd sooner buy defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!

Glinda, come with me. Think of what we could do - together!

Unlimited
Together we're unlimited
Together we'll be the greatest team
There's ever been, Glinda
Dreams the way we planned them

GLINDA
If we work in tandem

GLINDA & ELPHABA
There's no fight we cannot win
Just you and I, defying gravity
With you and I defying gravity

ELPHABA
They'll never bring us down!
Well, are you coming?

GLINDA
I hope you're happy
Now that you're choosing this

ELPHABA
You too.
I hope it brings you bliss

GLINDA & ELPHABA
I really hope you get it
And you don't live to regret it
I hope you're happy in the end
I hope you're happy, my friend

ELPHABA
So if you can't find me
Look to the western sky
As someone told me lately
Everyone deserves the chance to fly

And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
To those who ground me
Take a message back from me

Tell them how I am defying gravity
I'm flying high, defying gravity
And soon I'll match them in renown

And nobody in all of Oz
No Wizard that there is or was
Is ever gonna bring me down!

GLINDA
I hope you're happy

CITIZENS OF OZ
Look at her
She's wicked
Get her!

ELPHABA
Bring me down!

CITIZENS OF OZ
No one mourns the wicked
So we got to bring her--

ELPHABA
Ahh!

CITIZENS OF OZ
--Down!

"I Know Things Now" from "Into the Woods"

Mother said, "straight ahead,
"Not to delay or be mislead"
I should've heeded her advice,
But he seemed so nice.

And he showed me things,
Many beautiful things
That I hadn't thought to explore.
They were off my path
So I never had dared.
I had been so careful,
I never had cared.
And he hade me feel excited-
Well, excited and scared.

When he said, "come in"
With that sickening grin,
How could I know what was in store?
Once his teeth were bared,
Though, I really got scared.
Well, excited and scared.

But he drew me close,
And he swallowed me down,
Down a dark slimy path
Where lie secrets that I never want to know.
And when everything familiar
Seemed to disappear forever,
At the end of the path,
was granny one again.
So we wait in the dark
Until someone sets us free,
And we're brought into the light,
And we're back at the start.

And I know things now,
Many valuable things
That I hadn't known before.
Do not put your faith
In a cape and a hood.
They will not protect you
The way that thy should.
And take extra care with strangers,
Even flowers have their dangers.
And though scary is exciting,
Nice is different than good.

Now I know: don't be scared.
Granny is right, just be prepared.
Isn't it nice to know a lot?
And a little bit not.

"Being Alive" from "Company"

ROBERT
Someone to hold you too close
Someone to hurt you too deep
Someone to sit in your chair
To ruin your sleep

PAUL
That's true, but there's more to it than that.

SARAH
Is that all you think there is to it?

HARRY
You've got so many reasons for not being with some, but Robert, you haven't got one good reason for being alone.

LARRY
Come on, you're on to something, Bobby, you're on to something.

ROBERT
Someone to need you too much
Someone to know you too well
Someone to pull you up short
And put you through hell

DAVID
You see what you look for, you know.

JOANNE
You're not a kid anymore, Robby. I don't think you'll ever be a kid again, kiddo.

PETER
Hey, buddy, don't be afraid it won't be perfect. The only thing to be afraid of really is that it won't be.

JENNY
Don't stop now. Keep going.

ROBERT
Someone you have to let in
Someone whose feelings you spare
Someone who, like it or not
Will want you to share
A little, a lot

SUSAN
And what does all that mean?

LARRY
Robert, how do you know so much about it when you've never been there?

HARRY
It's much better living it than looking at it, Robert.

PETER
Add 'em up, Bobby. Add 'em up.

ROBERT
Someone to crowd you with love
Someone to force you to care
Someone to make you come through
Who'll always be there
As frightened as you
Of being alive
Being alive
Being alive
Being alive

AMY
Blow out the candles, Robert, and make a wish. Want something. Want something.

ROBERT
Somebody, hold me too close
Somebody, hurt me too deep
Somebody, sit in my chair
And ruin my sleep
And make me aware
Of being alive
Being alive

Somebody, need me too much
Somebody, know me too well
Somebody, pull me up short
And put me through hell
And give me support
For being alive
Make me alive

Make me confused
Mock me with praise
Let me be used
Vary my days
But alone is alone, not alive

Somebody, crowd me with love
Somebody, force me to care
Somebody, make me come through
I'll always be there
As frightened as you
To help us survive
Being alive
Being alive
Being alive!

"I Know It's Today" from "Shrek: the Musical"

Settle in, girls, it's story time

There's a princess in a tower
Oh my gosh, that's just like me
Poor Rapunzel needs a haircut
But the witch won't set her free

She passes time by singing
Like someone else I know
As years go by she sits and waits
As years go by? Uh oh

A torturous existence
I don't remember this part
She wishes she were dead
Skip ahead, skip ahead

But in the end Rapunzel
Finds a millionaire
The prince is good at climbing
And braiding golden hair

So I know he'll appear
'Cause there are rules
And there are strictures
I believe the storybooks
I read by candlelight

My white knight and his steed
Will look just like these pictures
It won't be long now, I guarantee
Day number twenty-three
I know it's today
I know it's today

Oh, here's a good one, it's a classic

There's a princess in a coma
Glad it's her instead of me
Pretty maiden in a glass box
How, I wonder, does she pee?

Blah, blah, blah, poison apple
Boring, boring, evil queen
Filler, filler, been there, read that
Seven shorties in the scene
Skip ahead, skip ahead

But in the end the princess
Wakes up with a start
The prince is good at kissing
And melting Snow White's heart

So I know, he'll appear
And his armor will be blinding
As shining as his perfect teeth
And manly hose

He'll propose on one knee
And our prenup will be binding
About time we set the wedding date
Day number 958
I know it's today, he'll show up today

There's a princess, any princess
Take your pick, they're all like me
Not exactly, I'm still waiting
They're living happily

Ever after better get here
I want love in seconds flat
No one needs these middle bits
Oops, did I do that?

Cut the villains, cut the vamping
Cut this fairytale
Cut the peril and the pitfalls
Cut the puppet and the whale

Cut the monsters, cut the curses
Keep the intro, cut the verses
And the waiting, the waiting
The waiting, the waiting, the waiting

But I know he'll appear
Though I seem a bit bipolar
And I'm a vandal now as well
Though he won't mind

I'm a find, I'm a catch
And a very gifted bowler
It won't be long now, I guarantee
Day number--

Are you there, God?
It's me, Fiona
It's me, Fiona

Now I know he'll appear
'Cause there are rules
And there are strictures
I believe the storybooks
I read by candlelight

My white knight
My knight and his steed
Will look just like these pictures
It won't be long now, I guarantee

Day number twenty-three
Day number nine-hundred fifty-eight
Day number eight-thousand four-hundred twenty-three

I know it's today
I know it's today
I know it's today
I know it's today
I know it's today
I know it's today
I know it's today

"Cry For Me" from "Jersey Boys"

I cried for you
Now cry for me
No, no I don't love you anymore
Cry for me

Well, you had your fun
(Don't go, baby)
With someone new
(Don't go, baby)
Girl, you want me to take you back
(Don't go, baby)
We're all through

'Cause now I'm leaving
No, no make believing
You made a fool of me
So now I'm leaving you

Love you so
(Don't go, baby)
Much more than you'll ever know
(Don't go, baby)
But you just cheated and you lied
(Don't go, baby)
Go on and cry for me

Well you knew it from the start
Someday you'd break my heart
Now we're all through
So cry, cry for me

(Won't you cry for me, baby, cry)
Just way cried for you
(Won't you cry for me, baby, cry)
Just way cried for you
Go on and cry
Cry for me

"You Won't Succeed On Broadway" from "Monty Python's Spamalot"

ARTHUR
Have you heard of this "Broadway?"

ROBIN
Yes sire . . . and we don't stand a chance there.

ARTHUR
Why not?

ROBIN
Because . . . Broadway is a very special place, filled with very special people, people who can sing and dance, often at the same time! They are a different people, a multi-talented people, a people . . . who need people . . . and who are, in many ways, the luckiest people in . . . the world. I'm sorry, sire, but we don't stand a chance.

ARTHUR
But why?

ROBIN
Well . . . let me put it like this.

In any great adventure,
That you don't want to lose,
Victory depends upon
The people that you choose.
So listen, Arthur darling,
Closely to this news:
We won't succeed on Broadway
If you don't have any Jews.

You may have the finest sets,
Fill the stage with penthouse pets,
You may have the loveliest costumes and best shoes.
You may dance and you may sing,
But I'm sorry, Arthur king,
You'll hear no cheers, just lots and lots of boos.

ENSEMBLE
Boo.

ROBIN
You may have butch men by the score
Whom the audience adore,
You may even have some animals from zoos.
Though you've holes and krauts instead,
You may have unleavened bread,
But I tell you, you are dead,
If you don't have any Jews.

They won't care if it's witty,
or everything looks pretty,
They'll simply say it's shitty and profuse.
Nobody will go, sir,
If it's not kosher then no show, sir,
Even Goyem won't be dim enough to choose!
Put on shows that make men stare,
With lots of girls in underwear,
You may even have the finest of reviews.

CRITIC
You're doing great!

ROBIN
The audience won't care, sir,
As long as you don't dare, sir,
To open up on Broadway
If you don't have any Jews.

You may have dramatic lighting,
Or lots of horrid fighting,
You may even have some white men sing the blues!
Your knights might be nice boys,
But sadly we're all goys,
And that noise that you call singing you must lose.

So, despite your pretty lights,
and naughty girls in nasty tights,
and the most impressive scenery you use...
You may have dancing mana-mano,
You may bring on a piano,
But they will not give a damn-o
If you don't have any Jews!

You may fill your plays with gays,
Have Nigerian girls in stays,

GIRLS
You may even have some schizas making stews!

ROBIN
You haven't got a clue,
If you don't have a Jew,
All of your investments you are going to lose!

There's a very small percentile,
Who enjoys a dancing gentile,
I'm sad to be the one with this bad news!
But never mind your swordplay,
You just won't succeed on Broadway,
You just won't succeed on Broadway,
If you don't have any Jews!

Arthur, can you hear me?

To get along on Broadway,
To sing a song on Broadway,
To hit the top on Broadway and not lose,
I tell you, Arthur king,
There is one essential thing...
There simply must be, simply must be Jews.

There simply must be,
Arthur trust me,
Simply must be Jews.

"Don't Let Me Go" from "Shrek: the Musical"

DONKEY
Hey, hey, hey! You gotta let me go with you!
You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak!
Well maybe you do.
But that’s why we gotta stick together!
No, no, no! Don't speak, don't speak, don’t speak!

Just hear me out! I might surprise you.
I'll be a friend, when others despise you.
Don't roll your eyes! Stop with the mopin’.
You need a pal! My calendar’s open!

I'll bring you soup, when you feel congested.
I'll bail you out, when you get arrested!
I got your back, wha-wha-what, when things get scary.
And I'll shave it, when it gets hairy!

Don't let me go!
Don't let me go!
Don't let me go!
You need me!
You need me!

I'll treat you right, and never get shoddy.
If you kill a man, I'll hide the body!
So what do you say? You’re not responding...
I think we're bonding!

Don't let me go.
Don't let me go.
Don't let me go!
You need me.

You and me, we belong together.
Like butter and grits,
Like kibbles and bits,
Like yin and yang,
Stern and Trang,
Like Eng and Chang, attached at the hip
But not an old lady hip that might break
I’m gonna be on you like a fat kid on cake!

DONKEY (spoken):
Like Cupid and Psyche, like pop rocks and Mikey,
we’ll stick together like that Velcro stuff, I’m the fuzzy side; you’ll be the spiky.
Ooh! Like little kids and pajamas with those funny things at the bottom, you know, feeties.
Like donuts and… oh, what goes with donuts?

DONKEY:
Donuts and diabetes!

Don't let me go!
Don't let me go!
Don't let me go!
Don't let me go!
Hold me! Hug me! Take me, please!
Na-na-na-na-na-na, please don't let me go!
I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you,
I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you!
Don't let me go, Go! Go! Don't let me g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-go!

"Funny Honey" from "Chicago"

Sometimes I'm right.
Sometimes I'm wrong.
But he doesn't care.
He'll string along.
He loves me so,
That funny honey of mine.
Sometimes I'm down
And sometimes I'm up,
But he follows 'round
Like some droopy-eyed pup.
He loves me so,
That funny honey of mine.
He ain't no sheik.
That's no great physique.
And Lord knows he ain't got the smarts.
But look at that soul!
I tell ya that whole is a whole lot greater
Than the sum of his parts.
And if you knew him like me
I know you'd agree.
What if the world
Slandered my name?
Why, he'd be right there
Taking the blame.
He loves me so
And it all suits me fine,
That sunny, funny, honey hubby of mine.
He loves me so,
That funny honey of mine.
Lord knows he ain't got the smarts.
Now he shot off his trap.
I can't stand that sap.
Look at him go,
Ratting on me.
With just one more brain
What a half wit he'd be.
If they string me up,
Well, I'll know who brought the twine.
That scumy, crummy, dummy hubby of mine.

"Rose's Turn" from "Gypsy"

ROSE
Here she is, boys!
Here she is, world!
Here's Rose!

Curtain up!
Light the lights!
Play it, boys!

Ya either got it, or ya ain't.
And, boys, I got it!
Ya like it?
Well, I got it!

Some people got it and make it pay.
Some people can't even give it away.
This people's got it
and this people's spreadin' it around!
You either have it
or you've had it!

Hello, everybody! My name is Rose! What's yours?
How do you like them eggrolls, Mr. Goldstone?
Hold your hats and hallelujah.
Mama's gonna show it to you.
Ready or not, shhh, here comes Mama.

Mama's talkin' loud.
Mama's doin' fine.
Mama's gettin' hot.
Mama's goin' stong.
Mama's movin' on.
Mama's all alone.
Mama doesn't care.
Mama's lettin' loose.
Mama's got the stuff.
Mama's lettin' go.
Mama?
Mama's got the stuff.
Mama's gotta move.
Mama's gotta go.
Mama? Mama?
Mama's gotta let go.

Why did I do it?
What did it get me?
Scrapbooks full of me in the background.
Give 'em love and what does it get ya?
What does it get ya?
One quick look as each of 'em leaves you.
All your life and what does it get ya?
Thanks a lot and out with the garbage,
They take bows and you're battin' zero.

I had a dream.
I dreamed it for you, June.
It wasn't for me, Herbie.
And if it wasn't for me
then where would you be,
Miss Gypsy Rose Lee?

Well, someone tell me, when is it my turn?
Don't I get a dream for myself?
Starting now it's gonna be my turn.
Gangway, world, get off of my runway!
Starting now I bat a thousand!
This time, boys, I'm taking the bows and

everything's coming up Rose!
Everything's coming up roses!
Everything's coming up roses
this time for me!
For me! For me! For me! For me! For me!
For me! Yeah!

"Some Enchanted Evening" from "South Pacific"

EMILE
Some enchanted evening
You may see a stranger,
You may see a stranger
Across a crowded room
And somehow you know,
You know even then
That somewhere you'll see her
Again and again.

Some enchanted evening
Someone may be laughin',
You may hear her laughin'
Across a crowded room
And night after night,
As strange as it seems
The sound of her laughter
Will sing in your dreams.

Who can explain it?
Who can tell you why?
Fools give you reasons,
Wise men never try.

Some enchanted evening
When you find your true love,
When you feel her call you
Across a crowded room,
Then fly to her side,
And make her your own
For all through your life you
May dream all alone.

Once you have found her,
Never let her go.
Once you have found her,
Never let her go    

"Singin' In the Rain" from "Singin' In the Rain"

DON LOCKWOOD
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo...

I'm singing in the rain
Just singing in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
I'm happy again
I'm laughing at clouds
So dark up above
The sun's in my heart
And I'm ready for love
Let the stormy clouds chase
Everyone from the place
Come on with the rain
I've a smile on my face
I walk down the lane
With a happy refrain
Just singin',
Singin' in the rain

Dancin' in the rain
Dee-ah dee-ah dee-ah
Dee-ah dee-ah dee-ah
I'm happy again!
I'm singin' and dancin' in the rain!

I'm dancin' and singin' in the rain...
[ADDITIONAL VERSE]
Why am I smiling
And why do I sing?
Why does September
Seem sunny as spring?
Why do I get up
Each morning and start?
Happy and head up
With joy in my heart
Why is each new task
A trifle to do?
Because I am living
A life full of you.