Sometimes I'm right.
Sometimes I'm wrong.
But he doesn't care.
He'll string along.
He loves me so,
That funny honey of mine.
Sometimes I'm down
And sometimes I'm up,
But he follows 'round
Like some droopy-eyed pup.
He loves me so,
That funny honey of mine.
He ain't no sheik.
That's no great physique.
And Lord knows he ain't got the smarts.
But look at that soul!
I tell ya that whole is a whole lot greater
Than the sum of his parts.
And if you knew him like me
I know you'd agree.
What if the world
Slandered my name?
Why, he'd be right there
Taking the blame.
He loves me so
And it all suits me fine,
That sunny, funny, honey hubby of mine.
He loves me so,
That funny honey of mine.
Lord knows he ain't got the smarts.
Now he shot off his trap.
I can't stand that sap.
Look at him go,
Ratting on me.
With just one more brain
What a half wit he'd be.
If they string me up,
Well, I'll know who brought the twine.
That scumy, crummy, dummy hubby of mine.
Showing posts with label John Kander. Show all posts
Showing posts with label John Kander. Show all posts
Monday, April 15, 2013
Friday, August 10, 2012
"All That Jazz" from "Chicago"
Come on, babe, why don't we paint the town,
And all that jazz!
I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down
And all that jazz!
Start the car,
I know a whoopee spot
Where the gin is cold
But the piano's hot.
It's just a noisy hall
Where there's a nightly brawl
And all that jazz!
Slick your hair and wear your buckle shoes
And all that jazz!
I hear that Father Dip is gonna blow the blues
And all that jazz!
Hold on, hon,
We're gonna bunny hug,
I bought some aspirin
Down at United Drug
In case we shake apart
And want a brand new start
To do that jazz!
Oh, I'm gonna see my Sheba shimmy shake.
(And all that jazz!)
Oh, she's gonna shimmy till her garters break.
(And all that jazz!)
Show her where to park her girdle,
Oh, her mother's blood'd curdle
If she'd hear her baby's queer
For all that jazz!
Find a flask, we're playing fast and loose
And all that jazz!
(And all that jazz!)
Right up here is where I store the juice,
And all that jazz!
(And all that jazz!)
Come on, babe, we're gonna brush the sky.
I betcha lucky Lindy never flew so high.
'Cause in the stratosphere how could he lend an ear
To all that jazz!
No, I'm no one's wife, but
Oh, I love my life
And all that jazz!
That jazz!
And all that jazz!
I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down
And all that jazz!
Start the car,
I know a whoopee spot
Where the gin is cold
But the piano's hot.
It's just a noisy hall
Where there's a nightly brawl
And all that jazz!
Slick your hair and wear your buckle shoes
And all that jazz!
I hear that Father Dip is gonna blow the blues
And all that jazz!
Hold on, hon,
We're gonna bunny hug,
I bought some aspirin
Down at United Drug
In case we shake apart
And want a brand new start
To do that jazz!
Oh, I'm gonna see my Sheba shimmy shake.
(And all that jazz!)
Oh, she's gonna shimmy till her garters break.
(And all that jazz!)
Show her where to park her girdle,
Oh, her mother's blood'd curdle
If she'd hear her baby's queer
For all that jazz!
Find a flask, we're playing fast and loose
And all that jazz!
(And all that jazz!)
Right up here is where I store the juice,
And all that jazz!
(And all that jazz!)
Come on, babe, we're gonna brush the sky.
I betcha lucky Lindy never flew so high.
'Cause in the stratosphere how could he lend an ear
To all that jazz!
No, I'm no one's wife, but
Oh, I love my life
And all that jazz!
That jazz!
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
"Thinking of Him" from "Curtains"
GEORGIA:
Thinking of him.
Thinking of him.
Sometimes it seems
I spend ev'ry moment
Of my waking day
Thinking of him.
Making him laugh.
Sometimes
Making him strong.
Sometimes
Making him feel
Some place in the light
Is his.
Telling him just how
Special he is.
Thinking of him.
Thinking of him.
Telling the truth
When nobody's willing to
Tell him the truth.
Fighting for him.
Living for him,
Thinking it over,
That's what I think I do.
Well, isn't it time?
Isn't it high time
I was thinking of me,
Too?
AARON:
Maybe it's time.
BOBBY:
Maybe it's time,
Maybe it's high time
You were thinking of you . . .
GEORGIA:
Thinking of me . . .
GEORGIA, BOBBY:
Too.
Thinking of him.
Thinking of him.
Sometimes it seems
I spend ev'ry moment
Of my waking day
Thinking of him.
Making him laugh.
Sometimes
Making him strong.
Sometimes
Making him feel
Some place in the light
Is his.
Telling him just how
Special he is.
Thinking of him.
Thinking of him.
Telling the truth
When nobody's willing to
Tell him the truth.
Fighting for him.
Living for him,
Thinking it over,
That's what I think I do.
Well, isn't it time?
Isn't it high time
I was thinking of me,
Too?
AARON:
Maybe it's time.
BOBBY:
Maybe it's time,
Maybe it's high time
You were thinking of you . . .
GEORGIA:
Thinking of me . . .
GEORGIA, BOBBY:
Too.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Cast of "Curtains"
Lieutenant Frank Cioffi - Male - Baritone - 38 to 48 - Lead
Niki Harris - Female - Soprano - 25 to 35 - Lead
Aaron Fox - Male - Baritone - 40 to 50 - Lead
Georgia Hendricks - Female - Mezzo - 30 to 37 - Lead
Bobby Pepper - Male - Baritone - 25 to 35 - Supporting
Carmen Bernstein - Female - Alto - 45 to 65 - Supporting
Bambi Bernét - Female - Soprano - 21 to 32 - Supporting
Christopher Belling - Male - Baritone - 40 to 60 - Supporting
Jessica Cranshaw - Female - Soprano - 35 to 45 - Cameo
Oscar Shapiro - Male - Baritone - 45 to 65 - Cameo
Daryl Grady - Male - Spoken - 30 to 40 - Cameo
Johnny Harmon - Male / Female - Spoken - 40 to 55 - Cameo
Sidney Bernstein - Male - Spoken - 55 to 65 - Chorus
Book by Rupert Holmes
Lyrics by Fred Ebb
Music by John Kander
Niki Harris - Female - Soprano - 25 to 35 - Lead
Aaron Fox - Male - Baritone - 40 to 50 - Lead
Georgia Hendricks - Female - Mezzo - 30 to 37 - Lead
Bobby Pepper - Male - Baritone - 25 to 35 - Supporting
Carmen Bernstein - Female - Alto - 45 to 65 - Supporting
Bambi Bernét - Female - Soprano - 21 to 32 - Supporting
Christopher Belling - Male - Baritone - 40 to 60 - Supporting
Jessica Cranshaw - Female - Soprano - 35 to 45 - Cameo
Oscar Shapiro - Male - Baritone - 45 to 65 - Cameo
Daryl Grady - Male - Spoken - 30 to 40 - Cameo
Johnny Harmon - Male / Female - Spoken - 40 to 55 - Cameo
Sidney Bernstein - Male - Spoken - 55 to 65 - Chorus
Book by Rupert Holmes
Lyrics by Fred Ebb
Music by John Kander
Sunday, July 29, 2012
"What Kind of Man" from "Curtains"
CARMEN:
What kind of man would take a job like that?
OSCAR:
What kind of slob would take a job like that?
CARMEN, OSCAR:
Who could be mean enough,
Base and obscene enough,
To take a job like that?
AARON:
What kind of mom would raise her boy like that?
GEORGIA:
Who'd want her baby to destroy like that?
CARMEN, OSCAR, AARON, GEORGIA:
Who could be jerk enough?
Hard up for work enough?
To want a job like that?
Oh, what kind of low-down, dirty bum?
Oh, what kind of swine-ish, scurvy scum,
Loathesome as they come?
I wonder...
OSCAR:
What kind of man would want a job like that?
CARMEN:
What kind of putz would squeeze your nuts like that?
Who could be prick enough?
CARMEN, AARON:
Mentally sick enough
CARMEN, AARON, GEORGIA:
Who'd want to grow to be
CARMEN, AARON, GEORGIA, OSCAR:
Everyone's enemy?
Critics are hated
And so excoriated
Tell me what kind of man
Would want a job
Like...
What kind of genius has a mind like that?
So perspicacious, wise and kind like that?
Far from his mother's knee,
She must be thrilled to see
How he grew up to be
Such brilliant company.
Refined and reflective,
We're completely objective
But it lifts up your heart
To meet a man like that!
What kind of man would take a job like that?
OSCAR:
What kind of slob would take a job like that?
CARMEN, OSCAR:
Who could be mean enough,
Base and obscene enough,
To take a job like that?
AARON:
What kind of mom would raise her boy like that?
GEORGIA:
Who'd want her baby to destroy like that?
CARMEN, OSCAR, AARON, GEORGIA:
Who could be jerk enough?
Hard up for work enough?
To want a job like that?
Oh, what kind of low-down, dirty bum?
Oh, what kind of swine-ish, scurvy scum,
Loathesome as they come?
I wonder...
OSCAR:
What kind of man would want a job like that?
CARMEN:
What kind of putz would squeeze your nuts like that?
Who could be prick enough?
CARMEN, AARON:
Mentally sick enough
CARMEN, AARON, GEORGIA:
Who'd want to grow to be
CARMEN, AARON, GEORGIA, OSCAR:
Everyone's enemy?
Critics are hated
And so excoriated
Tell me what kind of man
Would want a job
Like...
What kind of genius has a mind like that?
So perspicacious, wise and kind like that?
Far from his mother's knee,
She must be thrilled to see
How he grew up to be
Such brilliant company.
Refined and reflective,
We're completely objective
But it lifts up your heart
To meet a man like that!
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
"Maybe This Time" from "Cabaret"
Maybe this time
I'll be lucky.
Maybe this time
He'll stay.
Maybe this time,
For the first time,
Love won't hurry away.
He will hold me fast.
I'll be home at last.
Not a loser
Anymore,
Like the last time
And the time before.
Everybody
Loves a winner
So nobody loved me.
Lady Peaceful,
Lady Happy,
That's what I long to be.
All the odds are
In my favor,
Something's bound to begin.
It's got to happen
Happen sometime,
Maybe this time I'll win.
I'll be lucky.
Maybe this time
He'll stay.
Maybe this time,
For the first time,
Love won't hurry away.
He will hold me fast.
I'll be home at last.
Not a loser
Anymore,
Like the last time
And the time before.
Everybody
Loves a winner
So nobody loved me.
Lady Peaceful,
Lady Happy,
That's what I long to be.
All the odds are
In my favor,
Something's bound to begin.
It's got to happen
Happen sometime,
Maybe this time I'll win.
Friday, June 29, 2012
"It's a Business" from "Curtains"
CARMEN
I've never been known as one of those stupid clucks, Elaine.
BAMBI
Bambi.
CARMEN
Who pisses away a lot of her hard earned bucks, Elaine.
BAMBI
Bambi!
CARMEN
But facing the fact your coloratura sucks, Bambi!
Though it breaks your mother's heart,
Forget about the part.
It's time for you to know
Why I really backed this show.
You asked me for my motives
Well, you needn't be so smart.
It's a bus'ness.
It isn't making history
It isn't making art,
It's a bus'ness.
Shaw and Ibsen,
Take 'em away.
And don't bother me with Molière,
Those Russian's never pay.
So, go on, criticize me,
Please proceed with your attack,
It's a bus'ness.
I put one million in
And I expect two million back.
It's a bus'ness.
So what crime have I committed?
If I'm putting up a fight.
It's a bus'ness.
And I want thosse paying suckers out there
Giving me the bus'ness ev'ry night!
The not-for-profit theaters don't need to turn a buck,
That's not bus'ness.
STAGEHANDS
That's not bus'ness!
CARMEN
So, give them "Lysistrata"
And I wish them lots of luck.
I do bus'ness!
STAGEHANDS
She does bus'ness!
CARMEN
Gorky, Shmorky.
Money misspent.
You won't survive Yom Kippur
You'll never get through Lent.
I once knew a producer
Whose pretention knew no bounds
In the bus'ness.
STAGEHANDS
In the bus'ness!
CARMEN
He mounted Samuel Beckett,
I don't mean it like it sounds,
It was bus'ness
STAGEHANDS
It was bus'ness!
CARMEN
So now he's down the crapper
While I'm working in my prime.
It's a bus'ness.
STAGEHANDS
It's a bus'ness.
CARMEN
And the shows I do do bus'ness,
'Cuz I really know my bus'ness,
And I'm giving them the bus'ness, honey
All the time!
To stagehands, to the dressers
To musicians in the pit,
It's a bus'ness!
STAGEHANDS, OSCAR, JOHNNY
It's a bus'ness!
CARMEN
The owner of there premises
Cleans up if we're a hit,
He's in bus'ness!
STAGEHANDS, OSCAR, JOHNNY
He's in bus'ness!
CARMEN
Union members
Don't work for free
Hey, Harry, on the potlight,
Blink twice if you agree.
See?
I'm not devoid of culture
But my feet are on the floor
It's a bus'ness!
STAGEHANDS, OSCAR, JOHNNY
It's a bus'ness!
CARMEN
I'd do "The Kamasutra"
With a Richard Rogers score.
That's good bus'ness!
STAGEHANDS, OSCAR, JOHNNY
That's good bus'ness!
CARMEN
Yes, green's my favorite color
And I don't mean on the grass,
It's a bus'ness!
STAGEHANDS, OSCAR, JOHNNY
It's a bus'ness.
CARMEN
And the shows I do do bus'ness
Yes, I'm good at doing bus'ness
And if you don't like my bus'ness, sweetie,
Blow it out your . . .
CARMEN, STAGEHANDS, OSCAR, JOHNNY
Bus'ness!
STAGEHANDS, OSCAR, JOHNNY
It's a bus'ness!
CARMEN, STAGEHANDS, OSCAR, JOHNNY
It's a bus'ness!
I've never been known as one of those stupid clucks, Elaine.
BAMBI
Bambi.
CARMEN
Who pisses away a lot of her hard earned bucks, Elaine.
BAMBI
Bambi!
CARMEN
But facing the fact your coloratura sucks, Bambi!
Though it breaks your mother's heart,
Forget about the part.
It's time for you to know
Why I really backed this show.
You asked me for my motives
Well, you needn't be so smart.
It's a bus'ness.
It isn't making history
It isn't making art,
It's a bus'ness.
Shaw and Ibsen,
Take 'em away.
And don't bother me with Molière,
Those Russian's never pay.
So, go on, criticize me,
Please proceed with your attack,
It's a bus'ness.
I put one million in
And I expect two million back.
It's a bus'ness.
So what crime have I committed?
If I'm putting up a fight.
It's a bus'ness.
And I want thosse paying suckers out there
Giving me the bus'ness ev'ry night!
The not-for-profit theaters don't need to turn a buck,
That's not bus'ness.
STAGEHANDS
That's not bus'ness!
CARMEN
So, give them "Lysistrata"
And I wish them lots of luck.
I do bus'ness!
STAGEHANDS
She does bus'ness!
CARMEN
Gorky, Shmorky.
Money misspent.
You won't survive Yom Kippur
You'll never get through Lent.
I once knew a producer
Whose pretention knew no bounds
In the bus'ness.
STAGEHANDS
In the bus'ness!
CARMEN
He mounted Samuel Beckett,
I don't mean it like it sounds,
It was bus'ness
STAGEHANDS
It was bus'ness!
CARMEN
So now he's down the crapper
While I'm working in my prime.
It's a bus'ness.
STAGEHANDS
It's a bus'ness.
CARMEN
And the shows I do do bus'ness,
'Cuz I really know my bus'ness,
And I'm giving them the bus'ness, honey
All the time!
To stagehands, to the dressers
To musicians in the pit,
It's a bus'ness!
STAGEHANDS, OSCAR, JOHNNY
It's a bus'ness!
CARMEN
The owner of there premises
Cleans up if we're a hit,
He's in bus'ness!
STAGEHANDS, OSCAR, JOHNNY
He's in bus'ness!
CARMEN
Union members
Don't work for free
Hey, Harry, on the potlight,
Blink twice if you agree.
See?
I'm not devoid of culture
But my feet are on the floor
It's a bus'ness!
STAGEHANDS, OSCAR, JOHNNY
It's a bus'ness!
CARMEN
I'd do "The Kamasutra"
With a Richard Rogers score.
That's good bus'ness!
STAGEHANDS, OSCAR, JOHNNY
That's good bus'ness!
CARMEN
Yes, green's my favorite color
And I don't mean on the grass,
It's a bus'ness!
STAGEHANDS, OSCAR, JOHNNY
It's a bus'ness.
CARMEN
And the shows I do do bus'ness
Yes, I'm good at doing bus'ness
And if you don't like my bus'ness, sweetie,
Blow it out your . . .
CARMEN, STAGEHANDS, OSCAR, JOHNNY
Bus'ness!
STAGEHANDS, OSCAR, JOHNNY
It's a bus'ness!
CARMEN, STAGEHANDS, OSCAR, JOHNNY
It's a bus'ness!
"In the Same Boat #1" from "Curtains"
GEORGIA, BAMBI, NIKI
In the same boat,
On the same sea,
Shakin' inside as the tide keeps risin'.
Nary a ship,
Nary a sail,
Nary a soul on the whole horizon.
Still, we are not discouraged
Due to the ancient quote
That you're likely to win
Take it all on the chin
When you're in the same boat.
In the same boat,
On the same sea,
Shakin' inside as the tide keeps risin'.
Nary a ship,
Nary a sail,
Nary a soul on the whole horizon.
Still, we are not discouraged
Due to the ancient quote
That you're likely to win
Take it all on the chin
When you're in the same boat.
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